I Want to Want You.

©Ashley Lluay 2014

My husband and I have this habit of checking up on each other throughout the day. "You doing ok?" "Can I get you anything?" "Do you want anything?"

Do I want anything?

Well, sure. I want a lot of things.

I want to finish the novel I can't put down.
I want to keep my house clean and cook delicious meals every single day.
I want to eat chocolate (often!).
I want to have kids someday.
I want to know God.

Like, REALLY know Him. I do-- I have that desire.

The problem is, that desire doesn't often take precedence over the other desires I have.

More often than not, I want to read my novel more than I want to read my Bible.
Or crochet instead of pray. (Although sometimes I do them at the same time!)
Or waste time on the internet instead of doing my devotions (I'm looking at you, Pinterest!).

Not that any of those are bad things. It's not bad to want to read or do crafts or clean my house or relax or just do-- nothing (gasp!).

But it is a bad thing when those things start to take my desire away from God.

Why is it so easy to "forget" to do my devotions? How is it so easy for me to go days at a time sometimes without praying? Why doesn't God's Word grab hold of me as strongly as a novel?

Oh, how I wish these words always described my heart!
"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth." Psalm 73:25

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?" Psalm 42:2

"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1

"One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple... When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You, 'Your face, O Lord, I shall seek.' " Psalm 27:4, 8

I want to want God like that. To be obsessed with His goodness. To be constantly overwhelmed by His grace. Awed by His power. Captivated by His love. Enthralled with His beauty. 

But so often, I don't.

Forgive me, Father, for putting other things in my heart above You. It's not that I want to, but my heart is so easily distracted from You. Please teach me to truly seek You. To want You, more than I want anything else. May my heart sing these lyrics: 

More than my next breath, more than life or death. 
All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know You more.
I'll leave it all behind; You're all that satisfies. 
To know You is to want to know You more; to know You is to want to know You more!
-- "To Know You" by Casting Crowns

In His Name,
Ashley Lluay, Lighchaser

How about you? Do you struggle with desiring God above all else? Tell me about it in the comments!

Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Longing-For-God#sthash.7gldtAsq.dpuf

Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Longing-For-God#sthash.7gldtAsq.dpuf

Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Longing-For-God#sthash.7gldtAsq.dpuf

Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Longing-For-God#sthash.7gldtAsq.dpuf

Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Longing-For-God#sthash.7gldtAsq.dpuf